1. Be flexible — or pick someone similar to you. In terms of maintaining a long-term love, one of the best predictors of longevity is how similar your morals, values, goals and ways of thinking about important issues are. Obviously the farther apart you are, the more likely there will be frequent disagreements, unless you and your partner are particularly flexible people who are good at compromising. Of course there will still be arguments — that is a part of even the strongest relationships. But if the gap between the two of you is relatively small, your task of compromising will be less onerous.
2. Give 80 percent to your partner. Nothing solidifies love and trust like being thoughtful and giving toward your mate. If both of you are doing this, then each feels pretty satisfied and loved. Of course, there will be and should be times when you need to put yourself first — but these times should be in the minority. If you give to your mate, he or she will really enjoy giving to you. Nothing breeds love like giving love.
3. Love on balance. By this I mean that no one is perfect and you will not love everything about anyone. Unfortunately, many people think they are supposed to love everything about their partner and so when there is something they don't like, they begin to fixate on this characteristic and even try to change it. When it comes to love, you must take the good with the bad, because in the grand scheme of the relationship, the positive should outweigh the negative.
4. Determine the source of your unhappiness. Marital dissatisfaction often has its roots in personal unhappiness (which can be related to work, level of success, health or weight, etc.). Often these personal shortcomings are blamed on the marriage. In fact, many couples that at one time chose to remain in unhappy marriages end up happy five years later — even though nothing in the marriage itself has changed. So if you feel it's your relationship that is making you miserable, try to step back and see if it is really you.
5. Treasure your ''life history.'' When you stay together with someone you love, it inevitably means that you build something together. This ''something'' is something invaluable and irreplaceable — a life history. No other person will know you as intimately and intensely for these years of your life: Who else will share your happiness and disappointments as fully, love your children the way you do and hold the same memories of your family? These commonalties are often underrated by couples and then sorely missed when they are gone. Value, nurture and hold on to your life history, because it will be a tremendous source of pleasure to you both.
The first quote is brought in other places in the name of Winston Churchill
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בברכה
נשלח ב-14/1/2010 23:45
This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
god is one but his names are many
reality is one but its ways are many
spirituality is one but religions are many
love is one but hearts are many
34:35
order of importance in islamic law:
koran
chadith
precedence
unanimous consensus
44:15
We are willing to tolerate intolerance in order to be perceived as tolerant ourselves... You can bend over so far backwards to accomodate that you wind up hitting your head on the floor
"What I did know was this: it didn't work when your heart led your head. It didn't work when your head led your heart. Which in turn meant..... maybe that we never get it right. We just muddle through. Which is perhaps one of the great reasons why love always disappoints. We enter it hoping it will make us whole - that it will shore up our foundations, end our sense of incompleteness, give us the stability we crave. Then we discover that, on the contrary, it is a deeply exposing experience. Because it is so charged with ambivalence. We seek certainty in another... We discover doubt - both in the object of our affection and in ourselves.
"So perhaps the trick of it is to recognize the fundamental ambivalence lurking behind every form of human endeavor. Because once you grasp the flawed nature of everything - you can move forward without disappointment.
"Until of course, you fall in love again."
Douglas Kennedy, The Pursuit of Happiness, page 224-5.
נשלח ב-29/6/2009 12:50
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead
and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.
"If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish,
you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world
who has that opportunity." Also "If you woke up this morning with more health than illness
you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of
imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... you are
ahead of 700 million people in the world.
"If you can attend a meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death ...
you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.
"If your parents are still alive and still married... You are very rare. If
you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you are unique to
all those in doubt and despair."
