Kiryas Joel — A chief rabbi of the Satmar Hasidim has decreed new laws to cut down on the increasingly extravagant cost of weddings among Hasidic Jews in the United States and throughout the world.
Grand Rebbe Aaron Teitelbaum issued his new laws last month in a recording accessed by phone by many of the 100,000 Satmars around the world. More than 40,000 calls came in, many of them broadcast inside synagogues in the United States, Europe and Israel.
The guidelines, which regulate every aspect of the marriage process, from the arranged meetings of Satmar couples to the post-wedding celebrations, have an especially big impact for the Village of Kiryas Joel, the home of Teitelbaum's greatest number of followers.
Grand rebbe lays down the laws of weddings
Engagement: Only light refreshments - soda and cookies - can be served at engagement parties.
Gifts: No other gifts should be given except four pieces of jewelry: a watch, a pearl necklace, earrings and engagement ring with a cubic zirconia diamond for the bride; and the book of oral law, a Sabbath blessing cup and a menorah for the groom (in addition to the customary gift of prayer garments and accessories).
The wedding banquet: The last grace should occur no later than 11 p.m., and the wedding shall end no later than 1:30 a.m. During the mitzvah dance, grandfathers should dance first, followed by all other male relatives together (and not individually) with the bride, then the father of the bride, then the father of the groom.
Such decrees, known as "takanos," are embraced by Hasidic cultures that see them as effective means of addressing social ills, said Rachel Freier, a Hasidic attorney who works in Kiryas Joel. They usually follow grass-roots efforts to bring the problems of commoners to the clerical leadership's attention, she said.
"It's, 'Tell us, we need limitations to help us avoid problems,' " Freier said.
Keeping up with their Hasidic neighbors has never been harder these days, as rising expectations for weddings and other celebrations clash with the financial constraints of larger families.
The costs are particularly acute in Kiryas Joel, where family sizes have exploded.
The village grew by more than 50 percent to over 20,000 residents since 2000, the fastest-growing municipality in the state, according to recent U.S. Census data.
Teitelbaum issued a similar decree last year to contain the cost of bar mitzvahs.
"What used to be affordable many years ago is now not," Freier said. She declined to estimate the cost of Hasidic weddings because of the range of family incomes, as well as to avoid embarrassment for her culture, she said.
Kiryas Joel residents usually spend less on weddings than Hasidim living in Brooklyn, where Freier lives, she said.
The new decrees, among other things, limit food at the engagement celebration to light refreshments, such as soda and cookies; limit the number and cost of gifts that can be given to the bride and groom; and specify the manner in which wedding and subsequent banquets are held.
The rules might deal an economic blow to some businesses that supply the gifts and services associated with marriages, but they will likely come as a great sense of relief to everyone else, Freier said.
"It's, 'I don't have to buy the diamonds anymore, whew!' " she said.
[email protected]
