א אפענע בריוו צו הייקינד
היות אזוי ווי וואס איז נייעס האט נישט געוואלט ארויף שטעלען די פאלגענדע בריוו
שטעלען מיר דא ארויף דעם בריוו פון א היימישער קאנסלער וואז איז ליידער שטארק באקאנט אין
אונזער מצב
קודם א לינק
http://openlettertohikind.blogspot.com
An open Letter to Assemblyman Dov Hikind
Dear Assemblyman. Hikind:
Recently you have undertaken a serious cause that elicited a tremendous, overwhelming sympathetic response from the public. This is coupled with an understandable outcry of hurt and shame about a genuine plague in out midst, namely, sexual predators who abuse and destroy the lives of our cherished, innocent children. People are coming forward and are genuinely appreciative of your effort and are praising you for it. Some call you the greatest tzadik, leader, etc.
It would probably be advisable for me not to go against this massive outpour of support for you and your cause and dare to attempt to challenge or even point out one area of disagreement. Especially, since your efforts seem to be a very popular, passionate, noble and necessary crusade. If I were a politician this would probably amount to political suicide.
However, I am not a politician and I deeply and profoundly care very much about this issue. But my caring is rooted only in the truth which is the torah way on how to truly and realistically eradicate this cancer from our community.
Let me preface the following points: Although I have intimate knowledge of the subject matter and the school discussed herein and I have worked there as an independent social worker and counseling provider for 6 years, I am in no way purporting to speak for them. I am also deeply concerned about the problems we face with sexual abuse of our children. As a young boy I too wasn't impervious to this problem, personally…
Although I am a social worker and not a community activist, in the past 3 years I single-handedly effected the removal of 3 sexual predators from 3 different Boro Park yeshivas and a 4th alleged abuser from a very large yeshiva just 3 months ago.
Having disclosed this very personal information, you can probably appreciate where I'm coming from.
Now, let's address your crusade which was sparked by your recent show on Motzoi Shabbos where you aired this heartrending case. ''Miriam'' undoubtedly a very courageous mother presented a very tragic and traumatic saga that she and her entire family endured with her son ''Yoily''. My heart goes out for her and Yoily. I pray that G-d should heal and comfort them very speedily. However, you clearly exploited their pain and ''stretched'' the truth with allegations and innuendos that besmirched and defamed a yeshiva and an entire community. You zealously publicized a version of story without making any attempt whatsoever to check its validity.
The salient point of the story presented or your show was that the largest Chassidish yeshiva in Williamsburg employs a teacher who sexually abused a boy who he and is family are Satmar Chassidim. Despite repeated pleas from the family, a strong letter and a failed lie-detector (polygraph) test the school refuses to let this teacher go and is protecting him. And, as a second part to a previous show the inference was that this is a pervasive problem mainly in Chassidic yeshivas.
Mr. Hikind, you were kind enough to meet with me yesterday for over an hour together with your Chief of Staff Mark. I spoke to you very clearly and openly about all the issues I'm addressing herein and presented you with a written, albeit mildly different, copy of this letter. Your posting today on VIN on the World Wide Web convinces me that I hadn't made the slightest impression on you.
You admitted to me that neither you nor members of your staff from the radio or Assembly office ever contacted the Yeshiva to hear their side of the story. Regardless, you went ahead with this story publicly, without making a single phone call. If you would've called you might have found that you don't have such a salacious story against ''the largest Chassidic school in Williamsburg''.
After hearing the show myself, which was posted in its entirety on the World Wide Web, I did pick up the phone – with the intention to scold them for daring to harbor a 'rat' like that. But, what I heard from the school sounded much less scandalous.
The alleged abuse took place 15 years ago when Yoily was 8 years old.
The whole extant of the allegation was ''repeated inappropriate touching'', fully clothed. (Not a small violation, if true.)
The alleged perpetrator was a menahel (principal) and then became a teacher not because of the allegation, since the allegation only surfaced 15 years later.
The school removed this teacher immediately when the allegation surfaced about a year ago.
The school was forced to take him back after independent committees and professionals reviewed this case painstakingly and made the determination to clear him unequivocally.
Yoily, experienced other unspeakable trauma, entirely irrespective to particular yeshiva allegation, hashem yishmereinu.
The teacher asked for the lie detector and failed because in his temimos (naiveté) and terrible fright he denied things that he shouldn't have; such as him ever using corporal punishment as a teacher or principal. According to all experts involved this skewed the results.
The school itself interviewed scores of former students to ascertain the possibility of a trend. Not a single former student corroborated even with the question of ''inappropriate touching''.
These verifiable facts paint a very different picture if one really seeks the truth.
Moreover, Mr. Hikind, if your goal is noble and pure to protect the children than why not call the school to make sure that the alleged perpetrator is removed immediately? After all you are a person with clout!
Yesterday you revealed to me that you received at least $25,000.00 to ''go into schools to address this problem''. That figures. In the 26 years of public service you never knew that there is a problem? Did you think we are immune to this problem? Or, did you feel that the time wasn't politically ripe in over 2 and half decades? Are the problems worse now then 20 years ago? Where were you all this time?
This subject is much too painful and serious to play politics with, at best. But, I fear that money, intra-bigotry and self aggrandizement are now part of the equation as well. In today's posting you pride yourself in establishing a ''sexual abuse desk'' in your office. You also write that issue saddens you and that you have sleepless nights because of it. Unfortunately, I sensed that you and your staff are rejuvenated with a new sense of mission and your office is bustling with vigor. Perhaps, you're too excited to sleep.
Ultimately, it is my (our) community that is at risk, my family, my children. I, for one, don't want to be told that my community is at fault, especially not in front of the whole world. I know from my own hard work with schools, rabonim and torah authorities that we have made so many strides in this area. Are we perfect? No. Is ACS perfect? No. Have they ever condemned and persecuted innocent people while recklessly ignoring real perpetrators to the point of literal death to children? Yes. Too many times! So why should we so faithfully trust 'their' system to protect 'our' children?!
If anything, this community needs honest, genuine and compassionate help with education, support and encouragement. Defaming and besmirching an entire group of wonderful erlicheh (pious) Jews who try their best to raise G-d fearing, law-abiding citizens, does not help the matter. It only creates resistance, defenses and animosity.
This reminds me of a time several years ago when you held a press conference in Boro Park ostensibly to bring attention to the 'pervasive drug problem in the Boro Park Community'. This was played up on national television. Perhaps then too you got word of the State's budget allocating money for drug prevention, so you used the occasion to shame your own constituents claiming that we have a bunch of drug dealers operating within our prominent shuls (houses of worship).
Wasn't that too a gross exaggeration of the facts?
Did that help to fight the real plight of drug abuse (which this community also has albeit to much smaller extent)?
Assuming that it did help Boro Park's ''big'' drug problem – was the chillul Hashem justified?
Again, I'm in no way minimizing our problems and certainly not justifying or condoning inefficient or reckless responses from our leaders. I suggested to you implementing constructive methods to bring an end to this curse. (One of which you agreed with me was compiling a data-base of pedophiles and make that available to school officials involved in hiring.)
Fortunately for some politicians, the very community that is generally tarnished in the media is the one that does not read, hear, and certainly watch such shmutz media. The vast majority of this community do not even listen to your radio show on motzoi Shabbos kodesh, rather they praveh melaveh malka. Yet, in time of election the naively run to the voting booths to elect a ''heimisher''. 'Zu torah v'zu schurah'?
In summation; Mr. Hikind, I pleaded with you yesterday in very respectful manner and I implore again today. In the future if you really want only the betterment of our community's welfare, you must address our communal problems in a modest, respectful, positive and cooperative manner. Otherwise, you'll inadvertently set back a lot more than what you set out to accomplish, Heaven-forbid.
It is the highest time for klal yisroel to coexist with respect to each other, achdus and ahavas chinam!
Jacob Stauber, LCSW
August 13, 2008
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