PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
SOCRATES: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
SIR ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at rest t to stay at rest. Chickens in motion t to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken deps upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE: But soft, what bird on yonder asphalt trots?
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally ed in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
DARWIN'S NEPHEW: Which came first, the chicken or the road?
BILL GATES: I have just released MS eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of MS eChicken 2003.
JOHN GRISHAM: To escape the Klansmen.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: No. The road represents the black man; the chicken is the white man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. The chicken is free to move, free to do as he pleases.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
RID M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.
RONALD REAGAN: I forgot.
BILL CLINTON: I did… not… cross… the road… with… that chicken! It deps on the meaning of the word "chicken."
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
HERITAGE SOCIETY: The fact that the chicken crossed the road without government assistance is but one more proof of the folly of continued sping on social welfare programs.
DARTH VADER: I am the chicken's father.
ENERGIZER BUNNY: [Commenting through his lawyer, he said that he was suing the chicken for shtick infringement.]
DAVID COPPERFIELD: I made the chicken disappear and reappear on the other side.
JOSEPH STALIN: I don't care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omlette.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. You got a problem with that?
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in ping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
DOUGLAS ADAMS: Forty-two.
THOMAS DE TORQUEMADA: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
MOSES: And God came down the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, ''Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
C PROGRAMMER: cross_road() was called get_other_side()
C++ PROGRAMMER: chicken->CrossRoad() was called chicken->GetOtherSide()
HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmmm. Chicken.
