| נשלח ב-9/5/2004 19:48 |
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The only film images of Anne Frank. On July 22 1941, the girl next door to Anne Frank gets married. From the window of her house in Amsterdam, she looks at the bride and groom. Film without sound.
http://www.annefrank.org/content.asp?PID=23&LID=2
תוקן על ידי - רציו - 18/05/2004 22:23:55
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| נשלח ב-18/5/2004 22:51 |
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Is life a sexually transmitted disease whose mortality rate is one hundred percent, or is it a disease free eternity attacked by anti-life?
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| נשלח ב-4/6/2004 13:15 |
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he Fabric of Our Lives
A Unitarian Universalist walks into a fabric store and asks the clerk for nine yards of material. The clerk asks, "What are you going to make?" The UU says, "I'm making a nightgown for myself as a present for my husband."
The clerk says, "But nine yards is way too much material for a nightgown."
The UU says, "I know, but my husband would rather seek than find."
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| נשלח ב-6/6/2004 23:44 |
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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| נשלח ב-7/6/2004 16:45 |
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Where is God?
A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed, but asked to see them separately.
So, the mother sent her youngest son first, in the morning. The elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response.
So the elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer.
The elder raised his voice and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE did it!"
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| נשלח ב-8/6/2004 19:43 |
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לאחר שהובאו בפניו טענות נמשכות על "טפשותו" כי הוא לא מפספס אף הזדמנות להכשל , הסכים ערפאת להבדק על ידי מומחה בינלאומי של האו"ם. זה מה שכתב המומחה בחוות הדעת שלו, המלומדת:
Mr. President,
You have two brains, the left and the right, like all normal people. But the problem is that :
* in your left brain there is nothing right
* and in your right brain there is nothing left.
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| נשלח ב-15/6/2004 19:11 |
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?
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| נשלח ב-20/6/2004 02:38 |
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הורים הם לא נייר שזורקים
הורים הם לא נייר שמשתמשים וזורקים
הורים הם לא בנקט שלוקחים כסף והולכים
הורים הם לא אבן צור שלעולם אינה נסדקת
הורים הם לא רק שם משפחה או שלט על הדלת.
כי הורים הם נייר שסופג הכל.
והורים הם כמו בנק שלתת הוא יכול,
אך צריך להיכנס,לשבת ולדבר
ואולי להחזיר במועד מאוחר יותר.
הורים הם אבן גיר רכה וגם שבירה,
הורים הם שם משפחה עם ייחוס שיש בו אמירה.
הורים הם משפחה גדולה וגם מורכבת
שעל גבה תרמיל גדול סוחבת.
הורים הם אנשים שלפעמים טועים,
אך גם יטעו-בלי סוף הם אוהבים.
הורים לעולם יהיו הורים
אם ילדם בן 8 או בן 50
אבל גם הורים הם חומר מתכלה
מתעייף עם השנים
לכן,לעיתים כשמזדמן,
טיפול מונע של חיבה ויחס חם,
יכול אולי מעט לעכב את הזקנה
ולתת פסק-זמן של כבוד,הנאה והנעה.
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| נשלח ב-24/6/2004 04:05 |
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אלוהים ברא את העולם, כדי שהאנושות תתפתח בצורה שווה, החליט לתת לבני האדם שתי תכונות:
עשה את הייקים - מסודרים ושומרי חוק.
עשה את הרוסים - עקשנים וחובבי לימודים.
עשה את היפנים - מכורים לעבודה וסבלנים.
עשה את האיטלקים - בעלי רעיונות מקוריים ואומנים גדולים.
כך לכל עם נתן שתי תכונות מובילות.
כשהגיע לישראלים, ביקש מהמלאך לרשום:
הישראלים יהיו - חכמים, הגונים ופוליטיקאים.
כשסיים אלוהים את החלוקה, פנה אליו המלאך ואמר:
"כבודו, אם יורשה לי, לכל העמים נתת שתי תכונות, אבל לישראלים נתת שלוש.
הרי זה יגרום לכך שהישראלים יהיו מעל לכל העמים!".
ענה אלוהים:
"אתה צודק. יחד עם זאת, מה שאלוהים קובע אי אפשר לשנות. לכן נעשה תיקון".
ואז אלוהים קבע:
"מהיום לישראלים יהיו את שלוש התכונות, אבל כדי לאזן עם יתר העמים,
לכל ישראלי יכולות להיות רק שתי תכונות בעת ובעונה אחת".
לכן מאז:
ישראלי פוליטיקאי והגון - לא יכול להיות חכם.
ישראלי פוליטיקאי וחכם - לא יכול להיות הגון.
ישראלי חכם והגון - לא יכול להיות פוליטיקאי.
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| נשלח ב-25/6/2004 09:14 |
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Airlines Adopting El Al Methods (03/03/2004)
Based on the success of its stringent security measures, Israel's
national airlines is now marketing its anti-courtesy policy to airlines
around the world.
"If it works for El Al, the most respected name in the business, it'll
work for us," said a spokesman for United Airlines, which is instituting
several new policies this week, including mandatory prayer in the back
of the plane, and removing excessive leg room between rows.
"We are also training flight attendants to respond to requests from
passengers for water by saying, 'what's the matter, you're thirsty?'
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| נשלח ב-19/7/2004 10:51 |
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SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not wetting your pants
At age 12 success is . . . having friends
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license
At age 20 success is . . . having an intimate relationship
At age 35 success is . . . having money
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having an intimate relationship
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license
At age 75 success is . . . having friends
At age 80 success is . . . not wetting your pants
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| נשלח ב-19/7/2004 10:55 |
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A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
>stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
>
>Dear Lord,
>
>I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays
>at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her
>body to switch with mine for a day. Amen
>
>God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
>
>
>The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose,
>cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their
>school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them
>to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the
>cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery
>shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills
>and balance the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and
>bathed the dog.
>
>Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the
>laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep & mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the
>school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the
>way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do
>their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while
>he did the ironing.
>
>At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
>breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After
>supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
>bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
>
>At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't
>finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he
>managed to get through without complaint.
>
>
>The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:
>
>Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my
>wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us
>trade back.
>
>Amen
>
>The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
>
>My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to
>change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait
>nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.
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| נשלח ב-19/7/2004 11:00 |
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A philosophy professor stood before his class
and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with
rocks right to the top,
rocks about 2" diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full?
They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed.
He asked his students again if the jar was full?
They agreed that yes, it was.
The professor then picked up a box of sand and
poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to
recognize that this is your
life. The rocks are the important things - your
family, your partner,
your health, your children - anything that is so
important to you that if it
were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.
The pebbles are the other things in life that
matter, but on a smaller
scale. The pebbles represent things like your
job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar
for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If
you spend all your
energy and time on the small stuff, material things,
you will never have room
for the things that are truly most important.
Pay attention to the things that are critical in
your life. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing
There will always be time to go to work, clean
the house, give a dinner
party and fix the disposal." Take care of the
rocks first - the things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just pebbles and sand
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