Burn your wig

סיינפלד

אני חושב שצריך לתת אלטרנטיבה

Burn the Rabbis' beards

ואז נראה כמה גבורה נשארת בהם!

New Delhi Times:

ASSOCIATED PRESS: Hindu religious authorities have ruled this week that
it is forbidden for Hindu women to sell their hair to Orthodox wig
makers. "We have asked our women to put their hair on holy altars as a
sacrifice to our gods. Instead, they ship it to Boro Park. Is this the
way to show honor to our gods, by shipping hair to New York?" The Hindu
Association for Indians who are Religious (H-A-I-R) had all their major
authorities as signatories on a new proclamation forbidding these
shipments.

Young women, however, feel more ambivalent than the local authorities:
"What's a good idolater to do?" said Irfana Patel, a nineteen year old
resident of New Delhi whose long hair is soon to be shorn. "I know my
options. My parents want me to cut it at the local Temple and have it
burn for our family shrine. My fiance learned about the cost of
highlighted wigs in Meah Shearim. He wants me to sell it to put the down
payment on a new apartment." These issues are clearly complex.

Down a long alley in this large Indian city is a salon where run-away
teenage girls and older widows have flocked for years to have their hair
cut in a confidential and private setting. The salon owners, who spoke
only on the condition on anonymity, said that they have had contact with
ultra-Orthodox Jews for the past ten years. "They are our best
customers. Indian hair is thick and easily dyed. When they came here to
visit, we introduced them to chapaties. They brought us gefilte fish. My
husband loves chrain. He makes dal out of it now. We are sad that
business might change for us." The economic fall-out of this decision
has yet to be fully assessed, but small Hindu businesses everywhere are
suffering.

The human hair industry has grown exponentially since Orthodox women
discovered that snoods were used in idol worship in Thailand. The Thais
would "tie" the snood around small birds that were sacrificed on
mountain tops. Straw and wool hats have also been worn by idol worshiper
for centuries, but modern Orthodox Jews have never been particularly
concerned about it. A spokesman for the Orthodox Union said that there
are bigger issues to worry about, like whether or not Campbell's
vegetable soup will retain its heksher. "We don't really care if modern
Orthodox women are wearing hats once used by idolaters as long as they
aren't davening in women's prayer groups."

India is not the only source of human hair. In New York Times
best-seller, Hair Today: Gone Tomorrow: The Hindu Hair Scandal,
historians say that sheitel machers originally went to the Far East, to
places like Singapore and China as their hair source. Investigative
reporters have now shown that the Kai Feng community was started to
export human hair, perhaps inspiring the enduring love of Jews for
Chinese food. "The hair was cheap but hard to work with," says one
anonymous sheitel maker. "More expensive hair comes from Russia. I
personally did not use Russian hair until all the refusniks were out of
the former Soviet Union. Not everyone was so principled."

European hair has become very popular and expensive. But Europe is a big
place. For example, many ultra-Orthodox women today would rather have
hair from Belgium than Lichtenstein. German and Austrian hair still
carries taboos, and some women refuse to use French hair until France
becomes more supportive of the war in Iraq. Relations with Tony Blair
have been particularly good so English hair - although its off the
continent - has become especially prized. So many countries have been
involved in the production of human hair sheitels, that the U.N. is
considering an international resolution. The United Nations will permit
the sale of all European hair on condition that business exchanges
involve the Euro and that Israel dismantle its security Fence.

Despite all the politics, religious Hindus feel that their right to
worship idols has been severely compromised by this new scandal.
"Orthodox Jews don't want us, and we don't want them either. We have our
own humras in New Delhi. Wait until they find out where all their
tefillin is made!"

מסתברא



Wow!

וואו תורה דארט חכמה

Benjamin Frankl
Statesman, -afternoons only

לא חשבתי שאני צריך להוסיף שאין זה פרי עטי.

קיבלתי באי מייל והדבקתי.

גם מדות טובות!

מצאתי בין היתר.

שאלה מעניינת לדיון רציני: מדוע בארה"ב נכתבות בדיחות, פרודיות וסאטירה מסוג זה ובארץ לא?

Yet another Sheitel poem
One Sheitel, One Sheitel
based on Chad Gad Ya

One sheitel, one sheitel that husband bought for an arm and a leg. One
sheitel, one sheitel.

And came The Sheitelmacher, who put it in her little shop, that husband
bought with his life savings. One sheitel, one sheitel.

And came the European Manufacturer, who sold it to the sheitelmacher, that
husband mortgaged his house to buy. One sheitel, one sheitel.

And came the Hindu Church, who auctioned it to the European manufacturer,
who sold it to the sheitelmacher, that husband paid half a year's salary
for. One sheitel, one sheitel.

And came the Hindu Priest, who cut off the hair, that the church auctioned
off, that the European manufacturer put in the highest bid for, w! ho sold it
to the Sheitelmacher, that husband went into credit card debt to purchase.
One sheitel, one sheitel.

And came the Hindu Pilgrim, who bowed before the priest in an offering to
Vishnu, and he shaved off the hair, which the church auctioned, that the
European manufacturer got for a steal, who sold it to the Sheitelmacher,
that husband created a tzedaka fund for. One sheitel, one sheitel.

And came Rav Eliyashiv, Shlita, who paskended the hair was assur, that the
pilgrim offered to the polytheistic gods, that the barber shaved, that the
church auctioned, that the ! European manufacturer got his hands on for
bupkis, who he sold to the Sheitelmacher, that husband sold his daughter
into slavery so that he purchase it. One sheitel, one sheitel.

And came the Holy One, Blessed Be He, Who said, "I am the Lord thy G-d, thou
shalt not have any other gods before Me", which Rav Eliyashev took very
seriously, so he paskened the hair was assur that the pilgrim offered to the
other gods, that the barber shaved off, that the church put up on eBay, that
the European manufacturer couldn't believe the deal he got, who sold it to
the Sheitelmacher, that husband got his knee-caps broke because he c! ouldn't
pay off the interest from the loan he got from Goombah Vinny. One sheitel,
one sheitel.

ללבוש את הפאה - עבודה זרה!

להוריד את הפאה - גילוי עריות!

לשרוף את הפאה - שפיכות דמים!

ואשרי מי שתהלך בין הטיפות, ולא יצליח הגשם להרטיבה