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| נשלח ב-16/9/2005 20:31 |
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Today's News
Katrina Response: Bush Sends Troops to Atlantic Ocean
WASHINGTON (DPI) — President Bush today deployed 40,000 soldiers to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean in response to the events of 8/29. "We're gonna fight these storms over there so we don't have to fight 'em here," said Bush. The president has called for "regime change" for bodies of water that harbor tropical depressions, which he termed WMD: weather of mass destruction. The president also urged Americans not to seek revenge, adding "Most Katrinas are peace-loving. I went to school with a Katrina and I still consider her my friend." Mexico, Cuba, Haiti, Honduras, and the Dominican Republic were also expected to contribute resources to what the president called "the coalition of the damp."
(Reported by Bill Muse)
די נייעס קומט פון דא
http://www.dailyprobe.com/
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| נשלח ב-20/9/2005 18:34 |
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CNN - Gaza City: September 13.. After relief groups have successfully ended
negotiations with the U.S. about assistance for the victims of Hurricane Katrina,
Palestinian spokesperson for the Red Crescent Society, Farouk El-Farouk has
confirmed their nation's participation in the relief effort.
It was confirmed that at 9:15 am this morning local time, 4 plane-loads of
volunteers from Gaza and the West Bank left Amman International, bound for
the Mississippi Delta to assist with the looting!
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| נשלח ב-20/9/2005 18:46 |
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you people are funny, but i don't think that it's right to make fun of other people...
well שרייב עס אין אידיש...
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| נשלח ב-20/9/2005 22:43 |
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נפחא; וואס פארשטייסטו נישט? וואס פעלט מיר אויס אז כאסאן האסאן אבדול דשיברול מיט זיין ווייב הגר זאלן זעהן אז אויף א היימישע אידישע פורום מאכט מען ליצנות פון זיי...
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| נשלח ב-20/9/2005 22:46 |
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דטרבקי;
איז דאס געווען אויף "פרענדס"? די כאראקטערן זענען פון "פרענדס", אבער איך בין נייגעריג אויב מען האט דאס טאקע געוויזן אויף די שאו.
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| נשלח ב-20/9/2005 23:47 |
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kramer: it was on nbc
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| נשלח ב-20/9/2005 23:49 |
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The joke wasn't against the Palestinian. it is really funny (maybe funny is the wrong word for it) that the US should need aid from the Palestinian
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| נשלח ב-21/9/2005 00:40 |
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Fred approached John. "Hello John, I heard you know Hebrew"? "Yes I do." replied John.
Fred: I was wondering what the Hebrew for he is?
John: Hu.
Fred: Not any one in particular, I just wanted to know what is he?
John: Hee is she.
Fred: Who?
John: No, Hu is he.
Fred: I thought you said he is she?
John: Yes, that is correct.
Fred: What is correct?
John: Hee is she.
Fred: I have no idea what you said. Who is she?
John: No, hu is he.
Fred: I dont want to know who he is, now I want to know what she is in Hebrew?
John: Hee.
Fred: He Who?
John: Yes that is correct. But, hee is she.
Fred: Who is she?
John: No, Hu is he.
Fred: Why do you keep asking me "who is he"?
John: I thought you were asking me what he is in Hebrew?
Fred: Me?
John: That is who.
Fred: Who is me?
John: No, Hu is he, mee is who.
Fred: I don't want to know who you are, I want to know who is he?
John: That is correct.
Fred: But, I have no idea what I am saying.
John: But you say it so well.
Fred: Who me?
John: Why are you asking me who he is?
Fred: No, I am asking you what is he.
John: Hee is she.
Fred: Who is she?
John: No, hu is hee.
Fred: I am very lost. Me is who? Who is he? He is She?
John: Very good, you said that very well.
Fred: What did I say?
John: Mee is who, hu is he and hee is she.
Fred: Well if you must know, you are crazy, I don't know who he is and if she is a he, I sure don't want
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| נשלח ב-21/9/2005 01:05 |
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גוט געזאגט
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| נשלח ב-30/9/2005 00:23 |
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THE TEST
Write down your answers to check them at the end.
On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
How many states are there?
In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
What 6 colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
What 2 letters don't appear on the telephone dial?
What 2 #'s on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
When you walk does your left arm swing w/ your right or left leg?
How many matches are in a standard pack?
On our flag, is the top stripe red or white?
What is the lowest # on the FM dial?
Which way does water go down the drain, clockwise or counter-clockwise?
Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
Which side of a woman's blouse are the buttons on?
On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?
Which way do fans rotate?
Whose face is on a dime?
How many sides does a stop sign have?
Do books have even # pages on the right or left side?
How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
On which card in a deck, is the cardmaker's trademark?
On which side of a venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
How many curves are in a standard paper clip?
Does a merry-go-round turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?
Answers:
Bottom
50
Right
Blue, red, white, yellow, black, and gold
Q, Z
1, 0
Left
20
Red
88
Counter-clockwise (unless you happen to be south of the equator)
Towards the bottom right
12 (no #1)
Left
Top
Clockwise as you look at it
Roosevelt
8
Left
5
6
Bashful
8
Ace of spades
Left
ONE
*, #
3
Counter-clockwise
Scoring:
30-28 Genius...Mensa is calling!
25-27 Not too shabby!
20-24 You could do better!
16-19 McDonald's is calling!
15 or below.. Being blind wouldn't affect you one bit!!
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| נשלח ב-2/11/2005 01:22 |
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סושי שרייבט;
It takes less than a minute ..YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate
(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755 ....
If you haven't, add 1754.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number .
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2005) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS
.
תוקן על ידי - פענסטער - 02/11/2005 1:22:54
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| נשלח ב-2/11/2005 01:27 |
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סושי שרייבט;
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee
.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Bring to me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the
wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU
are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.
תוקן על ידי - sushi123 - 01/11/2005 20:50:12
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